North vs. South

 The North has sun-dried toe-mah-toes - The South has 'mater samiches.

 The North has coffeehouses - The South has Waffle Houses.

 The North has dating services - The South has family reunions.

 The North has switchblade knives - The South has Lee Press-on Nails.

 The North has double last names - The South has double first names.

 The North has Ted Kennedy - The South has Jesse Helms.

 The North has an ambulance - The South has an ambliance.

 The North has the Mafia - The South has NASCAR.

 The North has Indy car races - The South has Swamp Buggy races.

 The North has Oatmeal - The South has grits.

 The North has green salads - The South has collard greens.

 The North has lobsters - The South has crawdads.

The North has Distilleries, Breweries, and liquor stores - The South    
has stills, shine, and them ridge runners.

 The North has the rust belt - The South has the Bible Belt.